Well, having a maid clean for you, is no laughing matter. You would be, ever so incorrectly assuming, that it would be all about lounging in your bean bag, sipping Green Mint tea, and reading the morning newspaper, fresh out of the press.
FALSE!! FALSE!! FALSE!!
Your day starts with frantic, but logical, carefully mapped out analysis of no. of clothes, you need to put for washing. Now it could be 5 T-shirts, or 2 Jeans and 1 T-shirt, or 1 double bedsheet, or 5 pilow covers and 2 towels!!! Obviously, if you have a washing machine, you can throw all these calculations out of the window! If not, you better be well-acquainted with volume/mass ratio of each type of clothing, soaking time, no. of brush strokes required to remove each type of stain...
NO, SERIOUSLY!! If the clothes are too much, she, like an ideal maid, would never complain, but just gently drop hints, about an aching back, or muscle sore the next day. If less, well, you are just setting yourself a low standard, above which anyone would just complain... So you need to find just the right amount of clothes to wash, to keep your maid and you happy!!!
Also, you are well-to-do; How dare you ask your maid, not to keep the tap open, and not to let the soap melt in water while she is washing? Of course she might be using 2 buckets of water and 1 bar of soap/month at her own home, clearly the same rules don't apply here. It's YOUR home, not HERS!
AND, obviously, washing UNDIES and SHOES are out of the question; You need some exercise too, woman, spending your day with Green Mint Teas! MOVE YOUR ASS, BITCH!
And since you have already scared me about dumping your last Master, over the petty issue of cleaning the toilets, I have certainly remembered to keep them out of the Terms & Conditions.
Like any good person, it's my duty to give you all the unwearable/unusable clothes and utensils. Yes, unwearable because of your very slight mistake of hanging the colour and white clothes to dry together, even though I soaked them in separate buckets. Unusable utensils, because, my repetitive pleas of cleaning the non-stick pans with sponge fell on deaf-ears. Since you believe in equal treatment for all, you use the same iron-mesh scrub to clean the tawa and the non-sticks pan/kadahi, gently and gradually removing any Teflon-coating the pan, would love to have!!!
Dusting is out and so are the corners in the house and visible cobwebs, which can be taken out by single sweep of hand!!!
Oh, and how can I forget about giving gifts on festivals, even though, asking you to help in moving the bed and clean under and behind the Master Bed(once an year), makes you cringe and sullen. Yes, I know, I should have given you a saree on my wedding day, but the fact that you were unable to come to work to a house full of guests, would just take me a bit longer to accept. Yes, I know, any sarees I gave you on Ganeshotsav and some Ekadashi don't count. It has to be a sari and I can't give you a fancy purse/bag just out of my liking.
Ah! and when you are AWOL, and I discuss this with my husband, the next day, and you scream, "दीदी, बडबड करू नका!!!", I should totally try to understand your lack of respect and responsibility! I totally understand, when you don't apologize or feel guilty! After all, you don't need me, I need you.
FALSE!! FALSE!! FALSE!!
Your day starts with frantic, but logical, carefully mapped out analysis of no. of clothes, you need to put for washing. Now it could be 5 T-shirts, or 2 Jeans and 1 T-shirt, or 1 double bedsheet, or 5 pilow covers and 2 towels!!! Obviously, if you have a washing machine, you can throw all these calculations out of the window! If not, you better be well-acquainted with volume/mass ratio of each type of clothing, soaking time, no. of brush strokes required to remove each type of stain...
NO, SERIOUSLY!! If the clothes are too much, she, like an ideal maid, would never complain, but just gently drop hints, about an aching back, or muscle sore the next day. If less, well, you are just setting yourself a low standard, above which anyone would just complain... So you need to find just the right amount of clothes to wash, to keep your maid and you happy!!!
Also, you are well-to-do; How dare you ask your maid, not to keep the tap open, and not to let the soap melt in water while she is washing? Of course she might be using 2 buckets of water and 1 bar of soap/month at her own home, clearly the same rules don't apply here. It's YOUR home, not HERS!
AND, obviously, washing UNDIES and SHOES are out of the question; You need some exercise too, woman, spending your day with Green Mint Teas! MOVE YOUR ASS, BITCH!
And since you have already scared me about dumping your last Master, over the petty issue of cleaning the toilets, I have certainly remembered to keep them out of the Terms & Conditions.
Like any good person, it's my duty to give you all the unwearable/unusable clothes and utensils. Yes, unwearable because of your very slight mistake of hanging the colour and white clothes to dry together, even though I soaked them in separate buckets. Unusable utensils, because, my repetitive pleas of cleaning the non-stick pans with sponge fell on deaf-ears. Since you believe in equal treatment for all, you use the same iron-mesh scrub to clean the tawa and the non-sticks pan/kadahi, gently and gradually removing any Teflon-coating the pan, would love to have!!!
Dusting is out and so are the corners in the house and visible cobwebs, which can be taken out by single sweep of hand!!!
Oh, and how can I forget about giving gifts on festivals, even though, asking you to help in moving the bed and clean under and behind the Master Bed(once an year), makes you cringe and sullen. Yes, I know, I should have given you a saree on my wedding day, but the fact that you were unable to come to work to a house full of guests, would just take me a bit longer to accept. Yes, I know, any sarees I gave you on Ganeshotsav and some Ekadashi don't count. It has to be a sari and I can't give you a fancy purse/bag just out of my liking.
Ah! and when you are AWOL, and I discuss this with my husband, the next day, and you scream, "दीदी, बडबड करू नका!!!", I should totally try to understand your lack of respect and responsibility! I totally understand, when you don't apologize or feel guilty! After all, you don't need me, I need you.
hahahaha
ReplyDeleteOh you have captured my angst oh so well :D :D
With my parents constantly traveling, I'm left to deal with the house and this is such a daily routine. Very well written.
hehehe Bai troubles - The Other Side of Married Life :D
ReplyDelete